This is my very first TCSBE entry for 2011 and one of the last I will be writing for The CSB Experience as I now enter the breaking point in my college life: the path to graduation.
It’s not particularly easy for me to look forward finishing my stay if not for the block of challenges lying all over the road. But even with these difficulties, I always try to look at the bright side and see that there’s a way to make things possible. Even at the most difficult of times, I still see the bright side…No matter how hard our trials and tribulations can be.
Earlier (February 3rd, 2011), I was approached by an actor for my yet-to-be-shot thesis film. He aired his concerns over the weight of the material I was giving to my actors so I try to sort things out. Later on, he brought up the issue of giving them compensation for their work. I told him that I could only estimate giving them a small rate because I am running on a very low budget. That was when the conversation took an interesting turn.
He gave me an “advice” about what to expect on the event my other actors do not accept the terms I offered to them. I know from the very start that the actors I was able to talk to into helping out are very professional people. However he warned that with the rate I mentioned to him, he said the others may not welcome the kind of rate I’m giving them, whether or not it is to be given on a per-shooting day basis.
The way he said it to me was just discouraging. Although he’s just saying the truth and want me to hear it, he’s making it to look like the odds are against me.
I try to be positive about what is happening because I try to see it on the point of view of the other actors as to be fair about it. I know he’s trying to help me out but it certainly should not mean he could let down my spirits.
I’m saying this possibly because the “truth” hurts. It is as if it is a big blow to my confidence, to make it seem like I won’t be able to make the impossible possible. I try to be realistic as I’m going through this but I always try to find all the possible means to bring the odds into my favor. Whatever he said to me will take sometime to sink in to me but I know I have to fight for my project and I will do whatever I can to make sure that we could do this.
I made my vow from the very start of my journey 4 years ago that I will, at all means, find every possible way to finish school. I have big hopes and big dreams and I’m itching to get out as soon as I can. I’ll try to make it work for me, for them and for everybody.
It is after all, An Almost Affair….
