The CSB Experience 4: WTFOP (Frosh Orientation+La Noche Solidaridad de Frosh)

Wow I can't believe that I'm still writing a new entry under The CSB Experience since I started the whole shebang almost exactly 4 years ago, May 23 2007 to be exact.

And what a timely matter indeed. I'm just fresh off from having the time of my college life, leaving a legacy to the next generation of frosh walking along the hallways of CSB.

What am I talking about? I'm talking about this year's Frosh Orientation Program (FOP). What a twist having to find out that the FOP this year is going to be a two-part event, the second-part which we integrated the previously-separate Frosh Solidarity Night to form a solid launching pad kicking off the new school year which starts next Monday, May 23, 2011.

May 23, was actually the day of my own FOP (specifically ID107 MMA peeps). This was the day where I first met my blockmates, the people who will start their journey with me for the next four years. So it was really extra special for me to hear that May 23 is going to be the FIRST DAY for the ID111 frosh.

It felt so surreal grabbing the chance to experience this all over again thrice as an orientor. Knowing that I won't be in school as a student anymore, FOP was a way for me to complete my college experience (well there's the case of having the need to get some extra baon from my parents even if I'm officially a part of the unemployment rate).

During my first year in college, I tried to be everything, I want try out for something but somehow it never worked out. I tried to be a student athlete, I tried to be a student artist, I tried to be an active member of the student body but somehow along the way: shyness, inhibitions, and rejections took over and depression reigned on me. I tried so hard trying to be one of everything that it took a toll on my self-esteem.

I started thinking that I'm not good nor fit to even be in those kind of positions that I wanted to reach so bad.

Then came the days, the weeks, the months, and the years where I just focused on my studies. It was only when I was out of that depressive state have I realized that I should not give up. I have to battle my inhibitions and my doubts to finally give myself a second chance.

Then came the opportunity to join the FOP last year, for two terms. It's one those big decisions you've made in your life that you know you're not going to regret EVER. I met a lot of new friends, new buddies, and it changed the course of my CSB experience forever.

This year's FOP was just as awesome as the past two FOP's I did last year only we totally owned those three thousand-strong froshes in little less than 2 days.

To be quite honest, I should agree to what some of my fellow co-orientors, mas na enjoy pa namin ang FOP kaysa sa mga mismong frosh hehehehehe, The first day, we had the FOP held at all three campuses of the school then the second was when we had the FSN at the Folk Arts theater. The Bloomfields and some DJ gave us solid entertainment to cap off the event but most importantly, it was at that point that we orientors celebrate the start of something new.

Indeed, FOP will forever be the biggest highlight of my college life. I would like to thank all the new friends that I have met along the way (all the way from last years): Marco, Abby, Tin, Larii, Earl, Harold, Meryl, JP, Katty, Allister, Kim, Migo, Pe, Demy, Carlo, Bjorn, Airah, Shove, Jessica, Miss Norie, Miss Lanie, Flor, Ana, John, Nicole, Aster, Hans, Ken, Alexandra, Mikki, Mary Grace, Maureen, Dean, Kiran, Dominic, and so many others who are just as awesome as those who I've mentioned.

Awesome to the highest power...This soon-to-be alumnus is very happy.

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Check out these first few entries I wrote under The CSB Experience (when I'm still writing crappy English back then):
Frosh Orientation: http://jbata5.multiply.com/journal/item/31
La Noche Solidaridad de Frosh: http://jbata5.multiply.com/journal/item/40

The CSB Experience 4: An Almost Defense (The Final Fight of My College Life)

24 hours ago, I was standing in front of three ladies sitting plus another one sitting by the side. Sweat is drenching my sando wet beneath my black polo shirt with white stripes and my leather-coated feet are numb from all these pressure. It was at this moment that I knew that this is going to be the highlight of my CSB experience: The final fight of my college life, the final fight of my life as a student for 17 years.

Earlier that day (April 29, 2011), it was almost past 2am and I called it a night after hours of polishing all that is needed for my upcoming external defense for my thesis film, "An Almost Affair". Lucky for me, I have the whole day ahead of to do some last-minute changes and some last-minute errands to truly make worth of all these.

 My parents, especially my mom had a lot of faith in me and I know that I could not let her down. She has been supportive of my efforts ever since I started my thesis project a year ago despite my dad's objections. My dad, who was reluctant of my capability of the task ahead, swore to me months before that I won't be able to finish this nor will I be able to finish school on time. He only got one part of that right though: I definitely did not finish school on time as I decided way before that I'll be extending my stay for at least one term to give myself time to finish my requirements (aside from circumstances beyond my control).

Seeing that my own dad doesn't have that much faith in what I am doing, I worked extra hard to prove him wrong that I can be able to accomplish my task even if it kills me (well, not exactly but it gave me sleepless nights however hahaha!).

Fast-forward to yesterday, I woke up and ate breakfast before storming my way back to my mom's laptop to do some last minute checking. After reviewing the DVD I burned the day before, I saw some flaws that I needed to correct. Fortunately, I had the benefit of time to do this in addition to having to print out my forms and other what not.

I left that afternoon to go to Malabon to pick up my collaterals. Hours earlier, I was able to call them to check up on my order (3 sets of customized desktop clocks and bagtags) and the printing shop who I hired to do my order said I could picked them up. It was a joy for me actually because earlier that week, their shop was closed for two straight days before Friday. Such a relief that they decided to not close shop on THIS particular day.

Afterwards, I flew away to a mall in Manila near my school to have my hair cut. That cost me 300 smackers which kind hurt my wallet because my mom only gave me Php200 to cover for my hair-cut (Too bad, I should have chosen Gruppong Barbero in Pedro Gil if I am truly on a tight budget). Soon, I went to my mom's office to pick up my poster plus my collateral t-shirts who I asked her to bring with at the office.

With less than an hour to go, I went to Vito Cruz with my eyes set for the gold. As I laid foot on the SDA's steppes, I had a brief glimpse of the whole building, pausing before stepping inside.

Since we, thesis defendants, were told by Miss Lai to go to panel in costume, I decided to look the part of the unfaithful husband in my story, I even brought with me the same ring that one of my actors wore during filming, a gold ring with embedded snow symbols.

It was near-past 7pm when our batch were finally allowed to defended their respective projects. I was supposed to be second in line but due to some mishaps, I was bumped off to defend 4th to the last defended. It was okay as it gave me additional time to properly check on everything on my end.

Finally, the hour of judgment came upon me. I know that I cannot afford to make any mistakes so all I have to do is do the best that I can do, be confident and be honest with every single word that I utter.

I was lucky that I didn't have to show the panelists my PowerPoint presentation as I only have to summarize to them what my project is all about in order to save time before finally show the whole project. While the movie was playing, I could see that everyone in the audience (including Miss Lai and Poch who stayed to watch my work) were reacting well. Although there were some minor mishaps in terms of the weird volume levels of my movie's audio, it didn't stop everyone from totally enjoying "An Almost Affair".

After the showing, they gave me their critique. Most of them were positive, with the negative ones I also took into account as well. What was really fulfilling was when they said that it is amazing that I was able to achieve everything I worked hard all by my lonesome although I was told that I have to be more of an "extrovert" especially in terms of my scriptwriting skills. They say it's too tight so I have to make it more "conversational" hehehe. I guess I could blame the way that I write on how I was trained in Sondesn in terms of making scripts, not to mention my internship as a scriptwriter for a radio program hehehe.

Nonetheless, after they gave me the verdict, letting me know that I PASSED! My work's not gonna go to the archive though but knowing that I passed is enough for me to really call this a victory.

I wanna cry right now....And as I'm writing this extremely long blog entry, tears are flowing down from my eyes. I just could not believe it. I finally did it. All those hard work, all those hardships, and all the ups and downs I have to endure and undergo for the past four years have all bore fruit.

Soon enough, this chapter of my life, lasting 17 pages long, will end in three months. Three months from now, I'll be in that stage and getting that diploma that was 17 years in the making.

As I am about to leave college, a bigger world is waiting for me under its wings, to face reality and begin the rest of my life.

By July 2, 2011 the CSB experience will be finally complete.

The CSB Experience 4: The Upcoming Fourth Third and Final Finals Week

Wow….Lapit na ba? Di nga? Seriously? Naks…

Parang kailan lang talaga, sinusulat ko noon kung gaano ako kinakabahan dala ng finals week. Much more na lagi ko sinasabi na pahirap at pahirap ang mga kinukuha kong mga klase kada term kaya wala dapat akong excuse para maglalamya-lamya lamang.

Sa susunod na linggo, simula na ng fourth-third-and-hopefully-final finals week ko sa Benilde. As always kinakabahan ako pero di gaya sa mga nakaraang trimester, mas lalo akong nag-aalala ngayon dahil ito na nga mismo ang make-or-break moment ko. Lunes na Lunes pa lang, magiging busy ako dahil finals ko sa BIZ2 class ko. Buti na lang, walang pagsusulit ang kinakailangan sa’min kungdi mga revisions lang sa final business plan namin. Frustrating lang talaga na kinakailangan talaga na i-ayon ko sa kung ano ang gusto makita ni Miss Lim ang papel ko. Considering na na-late ako nung araw ng defense ko, di ko afford ang di pumasok na maaga dahil alanganin na ako rito. Kailangan ko ring alalahanin na may kailangan akong isumite sa kaklase kong si Ralph para sa ipapasang CD para kay Miss Lim.

Sa Miyerkules naman, medyo dapat noon ko na dapat tong binigyan ng pansin: ang pagbuo ng mga reflection papers para sa Ordev-C ko kay Chef Delia. Alam ko na anytime ay maari ko na lang iyon isubmit pero ang daming mga pangyayari na nagpumigil sakin na gawin ang isang bagay na kasing-simple kagaya nito. Hay….

Pero ang di ko talaga dapat palampasin ay ang darating na external defense ko sa PROJ2. Thesis film ang bibigyang depensa ko kaya dapat na ipaghanda ko ito ng mabuti. Pero mas kinakabahan ako dahil habang sinusulat ko ang blog na ito, wala pa rin akong ideya kung natanggap na ni Miss Lai ang aking email kung saan naka-attach doon ang mga hinihingi niyang mga dokumento at iba pang mga kailanganin para masecure ko ang  endorsement ko sa kanya. Di puwedeng sabihin niya sa'kin na wala siyang natanggap sa kin kungdi kakasuhan ko ang eskuwelahan.LoLz

Lubos na pinaghirapan ko ang thesis film ko, kahit di kagandahan ang pag-arte ng mga nakuha kong mga “artista”, kahit papaano naging tapat sila sakin at nanatili hanggang sa huling sandali. Alam ko na may pagkukulang ako habang nasa produksyon pa ang pelikula pero ako ay lubos na nagpapasalamat dahil kungdi dahil sa mga tao na malapit sakin nang lubos, maaring napunta sa wala ang lahat ng aking pinaghirapan,

Alam ko na hindi pa huli ang lahat. Di pa nagtatapos hanggang sa ito ay matapos ko na. Ayoko pa tumagal sa eskuwela dahil lamang may bagsak ako. Gagawin ko ang lahat ng aking mkakaya para mabigyang katuparan ang pangako na binigay ko sa aking sarili, ang makatapos ng pag-aaral.

Kaya ko ‘to, kaya na’ting lahat ito!

The CSB Experience 4: Diskusyones Tungkol sa Ingles

Okay, I just got off from a really heated discussion for most of the night today, April 18, 2011, with Marlon, Poch and by extension Jeco over something so little and so non-life threatening.

Apparently, they think that I should have used a different language other than English as the medium of the trailer of my thesis film, "An Almost Affair". Basically they said that I'm marketing what is essentially a "pang-masa" product the wrong way because I'm using English for my promotion.

What started out without simple, "Tagalog na lang, para mas babagay pa doon" became long and complicated posts. All because they think my reasoning for even using ESOL in my trailer is lame. I do recognize that they're giving out constructive criticism for me because I am, after-all, going out to panel (in the hopes of becoming CSB''s next top graduate lol). But for a silly thing, I felt the urge to stand by it through thick and thin.

Why?

Because I target a market that is above socio-economic lines. Masa, yes and for the sake of trying to give a clear explanation, every scripted content targets a specific demo, not necessarily based on income but on the basis on age and sex, etc.. Masa is supposed to mean "everybody" as in "every frakking single one of us from all walks of life". Masa is not CDE, it is the whole freaking alphabet soup.

As a media person, aren't I responsible of at least contribute to the development of our people, to help them aspire and reach for the gold?

The trailer I made is the first time that I actually had someone to voice over with. I made this trailer without thinking the use of language would be such an issue to some.

To market it to my market (is that right?), I should promote it in a way that fits their tastes and lfiestyles daw. Although this is true, is it necessary that I dumb the trailer down or make it look sosyal? Can't it rest in the middle?

If you guys wanna know what I wrote in my MP regarding who I am targeting, I only mentioned the specific age/sex demo which I know could benefit from watching An Almost Affair. That's my primary target market and that is all there is to it. My guide says it's only optional for me to include any secondary market so I decided to just focus with my prime one.

Maybe people just don't understand my viewpoint, bulol and all that. Maybe because I've watching far too many TV that it somehow shaped the way I view things. Not just on TV but also with the books I read, on radio. Maybe, people just cannot see what I want to achieve.

Sure, I could be a little defensive...Because if I were to take criticism, then what's the point of defending in the first place? I'm just defending my idea.

I already told them naman I'll see if I could produce a Filipino-language version of the trailer. Not exactly word per word but, as a trailer of its own,. Just so in order to silence them forever with their complaining.

And yes, I've been through these episodes before...Most especially my heated debates with Jeco since the days when he used to be so active in Multiply. I fight for what I believe in and I strive make a difference. I accept my flaws and I embrace them. I know I rant but because I say what it is on my mind although I am careful with what I say.

I don't wanna hurt people but people keep on hurting me. I don't fight back with a sword nor a gun but I fight using myself. I can take every blow but none of them could every bring me down.

Whether or not those peeps at panel won't probably like my idea...I will stand by it. They try me to conform to the standards but I want to go on and become the change I try seek, the change that I want to be. Win or lose...I stand by it.

And seriously? Ang laki ng issue niyo sa paggamit ko ng English sa trailer?

People, just come on!

A J-Blog Files Anniversary Special: Four Years after “Just Before Graduation”

Has it really been four years? Wow, I really did not realized that it was already past March 24, the day me and a hundred or so students in St. James Academy  complete the four-year cycle that is high school (oh mo high school life). Amazing how time flies, isn’t it? I remember being very excited about writing my first ever blog entry on my then new Multiply account out of curiosity and excitement.

I never imagined back then seeing myself to  where I am now. Most of my batchmates in high school have more or less just got their respective college degrees while most have to wait for a couple more months or even a year more to get that much sought after baccalaureate diploma with my name on it (did I get that last sentence right?).

Seeing that my life in college is almost over, I’m excited what the next phase of life have for me. Young adult life is full of twists and turns, promotions and rejections. Our young idealism is challenged by the norms brought by corporate reality. Our smiles might turn to frowns and our eager bodies will, in less than a year working inside a cube-sized cubicle, will be worn down.
Are we up to the challenge? Maybe yes, maybe not. The future lies in the nature of our decisions and how we face the consequences whole handidly. Congratulations for all of us and good luck!


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO THE J-BLOG FILES!

The CSB Experience 4: Jamer Update 2011 (The New Generation)

LOL, I've been so busy with school lately that I haven't been able to update my blog as much as I want to but right now, here I am coming back to what I do best.

So remember from way back when I was The CSB Experience series of blogs, or my whole blogsite in general was still at its infancy, I once wrote about the presence of former schoolmates from high school and how it's all kinda awkward seeing some same old faces in a new setting. It's with these old faces that reminds me of my life back in Saint James Academy where I spent 5 wonderful years of growing up there.

Now I got to be in their shoes years later....

It was only a few months ago, I was in a crowded elevator inside the SDA Building, minding my own self. There was only half an hour left before my 6pm class and I was heading upstairs to go to the cafeteria to get something to eat.

One of the people inside looked at me as if he knew me from somewhere but I didn't notice at first. But not long after, he asked me this question: "Di ba Jamer ka?".

Naturally, I was surprised...I didn't know this guy and all but he certainly know me by face. Obviously he is a Jamer so I asked him if he is from what batch. Surprisingly, he's just fresh off being from the most recent batch from our high school, Batch '10. The only one I knew from that batch who just happens to go to the same college as me is Janeen.

Of course, the both of us have questions for each other but it had to be cut short when the elevator already stopped on the guy's floor. He never knew my name, he never knew mine as well. And we thought it would end with only just that.

Come early today (March 7)...I happened to pass by the amphitheater en route to the cafeteria when I learned there's an exhibit going on by the ID110 SDA froshes. The event was an ORDEV-accredited event so I asked the ID110 people sitting on the booth if the event is also accredited for ORDEV-C. Two people in the booth asked me a question:

"Di ba Jamer ka?"

Okay, dejavu...Obviously, I asked them how they knew what I am. Turns out it's the same Jamer guy who I asked me that same question the previous term, and this time he's joined by a Jamer girl who's also an ID110 MMA student (well, both of them are).

So finally we got to know a bit about each other...they asked me who my batchmates are ("Justin" and "Maviel") and I told them I know Janeen from their batch. If I remember it right, the guy's name is Carlo and the girl, I couldn't remember much but I have a feeling she;s behind those couple of works currently on display at their still-ongoing exhibit (as of this writing) so I'll check out if it's hers alright.

(Note to self: She's donning a bob-cut)

To make the story short, it was really flattering knowing people from my former school's younger batches remember me. Was I even that memorable? I wonder...Hehehe. But seriously,  it really feels good that somehow, whatever deed I made back in high school certainly made a lasting mark.

As for the exhibit (which is for a good cause), I must say...for a batch who has yet to have some test of majors, many of their works of art shows great promise on their skills as design students. Even back when I was their age, I had no access to almost everything (cameras, Photoshop, etc) but it's the passion and creativity in every one of us that drive us further into reaching our goals and ultimately to our dreams.

A new generation is coming, and I couldn't be more proud of it.

:D

The CSB Experience 4: The Fourth and Final Third First Three Weeks

This is my very first TCSBE entry for 2011 and one of the last I will be writing for The CSB Experience as I now enter the breaking point in my college life: the path to graduation.

It’s not particularly easy for me to look forward finishing my stay if not for the block of challenges lying all over the road. But even with these difficulties, I always try to look at the bright side and see that there’s a way to make things possible. Even at the most difficult of times, I still see the bright side…No matter how hard our trials and tribulations can be.

Earlier (February 3^rd, 2011), I was approached by an actor for my yet-to-be-shot thesis film. He aired his concerns over the weight of the material I was giving to my actors so I try to sort things out. Later on, he brought up the issue of giving them compensation for their work. I told him that I could only estimate giving them a small rate because I am running on a very low budget. That was when the conversation took an interesting turn.

He gave me an “advice” about what to expect on the event my other actors do not accept the terms I offered to them. I know from the very start that the actors I was able to talk to into helping out are very professional people. However he warned that with the rate I mentioned to him, he said the others may not welcome the kind of rate I’m giving them, whether or not it is to be given on a per-shooting day basis.

The way he said it to me was just discouraging. Although he’s just saying the truth and want me to hear it, he’s making it to look like the odds are against me.

I try to be positive about what is happening because I try to see it on the point of view of the other actors as to be fair about it. I know he’s trying to help me out but it certainly should not mean he could let down my spirits.

I’m saying this possibly because the “truth” hurts. It is as if it is a big blow to my confidence, to make it seem like I won’t be able to make the impossible possible. I try to be realistic as I’m going through this but I always try to find all the possible means to bring the odds into my favor. Whatever he said to me will take sometime to sink in to me but I know I have to fight for my project and I will do whatever I can to make sure that we could do this.

I made my vow from the very start of my journey 4 years ago that I will, at all means, find every possible way to finish school. I have big hopes and big dreams and I’m itching to get out as soon as I can. I’ll try to make it work for me, for them and for everybody.

It is after all, An Almost Affair….