The CSB Experience 4: Alumnus

Entry #260

"Dreams really do come true if you believe..."

Sixty frosh articles, a hundred and twenty-six sophomore journals, thirty junior posts and forty-three published senior entries. That made up nearly two hundred and sixty articles that made up the lifeline of The CSB Experience.

Starting out as my way to document my early days as a college student about to enter a world I will only be in for once in my lifetime, my journals became my companions as I headed the highs and lows of college life. Writing whatever was in my mind and in my heart helped cope with the pressure of doing good and staying sane amidst the difficulties that college life brings.

2 weeks after graduating, I'm in the middle of a transition, moving on to the real world and leaving behind what was once my life for 17 years.

Seven years in St Mary Montessori Learning Center, a year and a quarter-year in Haycock Elementary School, five years in Saint James Academy and four years in De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde. Every single year I spent in the schools I've attended I will cherish forever and always.

Growing up, I always have a dream that eventually turned into something else. I always dream of being someone that my family would be proud of. Someone that people would look up to. Someone who can be something for the greater good.

I'm hardheaded yet weak. I'm weak yet strong. I'm ordinary but special. I always fear that I could mess up a good thing, I fear that I could lose the friends I hold dear because of my actions. But I learned what life taught to me: Accept my weaknesses and cherish my strengths. I'm not perfect and no way will I ever be. But I am strong in ways that I can be myself, that I can do something that will certain to leave a mark. I could be soft-spoken but my mind tends to do the talking.

My teachers, my classmates, my colleagues, my friends, my family. All of them helped out on bringing me to where I am. And for that, I will always and forever be grateful.

I always thought college is going to be especially hard but in reality, I was able to coast-along the bylines, do my thing, work things out and finally rise up to that stage to get that diploma (even if it was fake).

The moment I received my alumni card, I knew that my life as a student is long over. I should get over it and move on. I'm still in relative limbo as I continue to search for my first job, to start make a living for myself and to give back to my parents who gave their all to me and to my siblings.

It's funny that being the third child, I was the second to graduate, and the first male to finish college in the family. My kuya still has to accomplish defending his thesis and hopefully follow up in my footsteps sometime this year. Jorge still has at least  four more trimesters to go before he too will go to that stage and get his own diploma.

I know that there's still a lot that life has in store for me, and I will be there to face them until I breathe my last breath.

The End of the Experience

The CSB Experience 4: SHOUTOUT For The Finale Week

Tik tok, tik tok goes the clock as I count the remaining days, the remaining hours and the remaining seconds of my life as a college student. In less than a week from now, the end of the road I worked hard for nearly a quarter of my life has finally come to an end. Me and some hundred or so students will be marching at the Philippine International Convention Center for our commencement rites this coming Saturday.

Such a shame though that the kickstart to the end was completely ruined because of the rains the wrecked havoc across Manila which left our place flooded to almost hip-deep levels. Such a shame that CSB actually pushed through with the graduation rehearsal and class picture-taking scheduled for that day. It was really heart-wrenching to know that a lot of my batchmates actually took the effort on going there and I didn't because it was actually impossible on my end to go to southward to Manila given my situation.

I was crying later that night. I didn't want to accept that it happened. That college class picture plus the rehearsal was to be one of the defining moments for my send-off from school and both didn't happen. I was really looking forward to it and fortunately for others, they know have some extra something special to remember forever in their college lives that I will never get to experience ever.

By coincidence, this is such a huge recall as this is more or less a shout-out from 13 years ago when I wasn't able to take part in what could have ben my very first grade school class picture because I contracted a case of chickenpox from my little brother which was the same reason why he wasn't able to go to our school field trip to Tagaytay a week before.

Realizing that, I just couldn't help but feel depress. Even up til now, I still can't get over the fact that one of things that I should have experienced in college will no longer happen. I jsut hate it, simply hate. Even the thought of me makes me wanna punch a hole or something.

Sayang...I was telling Danya that we're both going to brave the flood just so we could get to the venue in time. The day before I was hoping the flood would recede to the point that it's low enough for jeeps to travel on passable routes and I could ride on a tricycle de padyak to take me to the temporary loading bays for jeeps at the barangay's central area. But on the day itself, the floodwaters outside the house rose up overnight, reaching our garage inside. Adding insult to injury is the unpredictable rainshowers coming on and off throughout the day before completely halting by day's end. Plus, my dad would never allow to go out at that point.


I could have been there...I should have been there. It's just frustrating I know but there's nothing that I could do now. I just have to force myself to move on or at least comes to terms over these feelings of regret and frustrations.

On the brighter side of things, I just have to make sure that I won't miss the big day itself, GRADUATION DAY. Fearing that I might end up like one of my high school friends who missed his own commencement rites yesterday because of the weather, I already asked my mom to book a reservation at Traders Hotel just in case CSB foolishly goes ahead with the event at the height of a storm. They better not.

And yeah, I'm planning on having a much-needed haircut after two months of letting it grow to look like a beatlecut from the 1960's hehehe.

I'm really hoping that nothing would stop me from living and re-living this moment. I already missed out the rehearsal and the class picture (which I hope it doesn't end up on the yearbook at this point) so I'm making sure I'm going to get the perfect treat of an ending for my CSB EXPERIENCE.

Bow! :D

A J-Blog Files Anniversary Special: Four Years after “Just Before Graduation”

Has it really been four years? Wow, I really did not realized that it was already past March 24, the day me and a hundred or so students in St. James Academy  complete the four-year cycle that is high school (oh mo high school life). Amazing how time flies, isn’t it? I remember being very excited about writing my first ever blog entry on my then new Multiply account out of curiosity and excitement.

I never imagined back then seeing myself to  where I am now. Most of my batchmates in high school have more or less just got their respective college degrees while most have to wait for a couple more months or even a year more to get that much sought after baccalaureate diploma with my name on it (did I get that last sentence right?).

Seeing that my life in college is almost over, I’m excited what the next phase of life have for me. Young adult life is full of twists and turns, promotions and rejections. Our young idealism is challenged by the norms brought by corporate reality. Our smiles might turn to frowns and our eager bodies will, in less than a year working inside a cube-sized cubicle, will be worn down.
Are we up to the challenge? Maybe yes, maybe not. The future lies in the nature of our decisions and how we face the consequences whole handidly. Congratulations for all of us and good luck!


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO THE J-BLOG FILES!

A Look Back to 20@'10!

I can't help describe how exactly 2010 fared for me. A lot of stuff happened, both good and bad, interesting twists and life-sized developments I never expect would happen to me. I'll see if I could run all down the events that made marked my 20th year of life so awesome @'10.

JANUARY
-The then seemingly-unending second term of the previous school year (2009-10) finally concluded. The students of CSB got to move on from a term that was marked by natural disasters, term extensions, wrongful decisions from the higher-ups, and a lot more than we could imagine.
-I discovered someone's true colors and I was pretty disappointed to what he/she has become.
-The long-awaited Montessorian reunion 8 years in the making finally materialized in the form of RECONNECTIONS.

FEBRUARY
-I applied to be a part of the RT30 Countdown (99.5RT's weekly chart show) as an intern which I got in eventually (On the same day I was applying for a similar job at their next door neighbor, Mellow 94.7).
-On the day of hearts, Jeco posted a very awesome pic showing me, MR, Dianne, Chamy, Yoko and him taken exactly a year ago. It was really sweet and awesome which inspired me to write a blog about it the same day.
-Knowing I won't be in school long, I tried for the third time applying to be a part of the school's frosh orientation program.

MARCH
-I went to a retreat with a bunch load of my friends and would be friends in Tagaytay. No tear-jerky sessions occurred throughout the whole ordeal but we forged new friendships and reinforced new ones (in memory of Dims). LOL
-It's not everyday you're friends with almost the whole batch of the SDA Chef's station. I owe that to Nikko and for his introduction of their signature dish: COFFEE JELLY. Piaya times baby!

APRIL
-This one's a shocker: I was let go from my internship in RT30. But my relationship with RT didn't end there because...
-I applied to be a part of RT's The Farm, a radio-training program. I got to meet some really awesome people indeed.


MAY
-The seemingly unending school year finally drew to a close and just when we thought we're only going to get 2 weeks of vacation, we finally had a whole month off!
-Something for a change, I took up the courage to meet my idol. It paid off.
-It's time for yearbook pictures and when I got to see my pictures, I wasn't satisfied with the results so I asked for a retake a month later.
-FOP time! I was shuffling between FARM training and orienting froshes for almost 2 weeks straight, it was nerve-wracking hehehe.
-The launch of The CSB Experience 4: The Final Experience.

JUNE
-Jenny from the Block passed away. :(
-I attended my last Mediamax orientation.
-The trip to Singapore finally pushed through and it was 5 days of pure awesomeness!
-I had my Frosh Nite experience re-lived when me and the rest of the Sessionistas reunited to welcome the new batch of Benildeans. (Mga di pa nagbabayad, bayaran niyo na ako :D)
-OMG, the pet project of The Farm was a huge success.
-Hours before heading off for OMG, I decided to pay a visit to Max FM, where I got to be DJ for an hour with Johnny Chase/Mondo while waiting for Quich Lorraine/Raine.
-I started The Pursuit.

JULY
-Graphika Manila, FINALLY! After three years of trying, fourth time was certainly a charm.
-Extra-ordinary did I manage myself into hopping for my class' Malarayat field trip due to extra-ordinary circumstances.
-I got word from an industry insider online about Max FM's pending format switch and I wasted no time visiting the booth for one last time.
-Kadugo!

AUGUST
-Me and a load of callers kept Raine company on her unexpectedly final day on the air and I got it on tape! YESSH!
-My ears turned red on the biggest mess I made but managed to clean it up.
-I bid my Teenage Dream goodbye as I turned 20 @ '10. Unfortunately, the planned 20@'10 reunion among my GS friends did not materialize. Too bad :(

SEPTEMBER
-September marked the day I officially marked my one term extension in school and at the same time, a critical period for me to pass every single subject I have for the second trimester.
-I was an orientor again for the 2nd term's FOP. But due to some misunderstandings, me and a few others ended up orienting not so-frosh students, but it was still fun because I really had a good time talking with members of the school's Deaf community.
-Got my wish into visiting the U92 booth in Silver City and met The Brewrats!
-I started to understand more and more about trade secrets that aren't secrets to everyone else.

OCTOBER
-I had a strong reaction with Studio 23's recent scheduling changes as of late when they had their signature US programs pushed to late night in favor of a daily nightime movie block on primetime. I ended up having a "creative argument" with 23's Program Manager Vince Rodriguez (who we share an unknown connection with Cheenee in more ways than one). Up til now, I still disprove of what they did in favor of airing two daily movie blocks. It's a betrayal to long-time viewers like me.
-I never thought I get to be heard on the air again but Oct. 28 proved me wrong. A reunion with my fellow Farmers, a concert happening at the Venice Piazza at McKinley Hill, and meeting famous faces front and center....What more can I ask for?

NOVEMBER
-I started production for the pilot "episode" of my thesis film, An Almost Affair starring Demy Cruz, Shiena Labay, Sam San Jose and also starring Paw Castillo.

DECEMBER
-The cousins came home after living in the US for 9 long years thus the yearly Christmas celebration of the Sibucao clan was more than the usual this year.
-I got myself a sorta-new Nikon D40x which was owned originally by my sister's college friend. Only problem is that it doesn't have a USB cable for me to upload my pictures to a PC.
-I started another creative argument with another guy from ABS...This time with the channel head of MYX, Andre Allan Alvarez. LOL, bigtime na nga!

That's all folks!

10 Things to Wish for This 20@10

The following are the things which I wish I could have when I turn 20@10. Simple well-wishing lang on the first 5 as I don't want to expect to get this much material stuff. The latter half is a little something that I wish to do when I turn 20, since I they aren't that impossible to materialize as long as I push myself to it. Mangarap ba? :D

1. A Nikon dSLR D40

2. A Mac laptop

3. A New cellphone FM-radio and Wi-Fi capabilities

4. A new bag that can Handle my demands

5. A bicycle

6. Go to Enchanted Kingdom

7. Join a Fun Run

8. Go on a hiking trip

9. Achieve a fit and healthy body with a set of six-pack abs :))

10. Graduate from school


As the saying goes: "Dreams really do come true if you believe...".

10 Days to Go!

Reconnections: The Montessorian Reunion

Took me 8 years since the first one held in June 2002 to finally organize a reunion worth the time and effort!

Thanks to those who were present:

1. James
2. Aimee
3. Senelita
4. Jennie Rose
5. Andrew
6. Felipe
7. Zach
8. John Paul
9. Erickson
10. Lucky
11. Mangga
12. Angelique
13. Cheenee
14. Marvin
15. Carlos
16. Michael
17. Jamelle

We are finally as happy as can be! Hanggang sa uulitin!

J Pics D40 Pics: Jeco's Neighbourly Place 1007

Photos include post-house blessing party at Jeco's, the introduction of several members of the Bonzon Clan, and the SJA High School Reunion-supposedly-overnight-turned-one night karaoke party.


The Gang


When Vanity Strikes Anew!


Yoko Learns to Rock!


Chamy and Dianne


The Lights of Paco


For more pics, click on the following:

1) When Jaime Go Loco
2) One Night Love Affair
3) The Singing Bee


Not Gonna Get Us-TaTu

After Two Years Time (The J-Blog Files 2nd Anniversary Special)

Happy Anniversary to the J-Blog Files for reaching its second year!

       I would like to thank first and foremost the Lord Almighty for giving me an avenue to finally express my deepest desires through writing journals online. TJBF gave me a sense of achievement and help me go through a lot of challenges that may come along the way.

      The site had come a long way since the time I began the website. At first it was all for the reason of replying about Dianne Naval's early entry with regards to the then-upcoming Chimes 2007 yearbook. After that, the rest as they say was history.

     Ironically, today is exactly 2 years since I've made my first blog: "Just Before Graduation" dated March 23, 2007. Only three people had viewed the entry (Clues: 2C, There, Mister)

     Afterwards, I chronicled a lot of events, including the happiest as well as the controversial entries made. Then later ventured to the other functions of Multiply. I got to try out other literary forms such as poetry and prose. Someday, I will get the time to finish the "Paglisan" and "When She Left Me" blog serials.

      Today, I continue to learn more about life as well as jolt down the best and worst that life could offer.

-----

I wanna share this as well:

1. Since my youngest sibling will finally get to graduate from high school this coming March 28, I just realize by now that 3-28 is exactly the day I was finally done with high school, 2 years before.

2. March 29 was the Honor's Convocation I never bothered to come the next day. Only to realize that I was given a conduct award for perfect attendance! WAGHH! (Same day as the pool party I never knew had happened on the same day after the convocation)

3. Never got to read my final report, I immediately had it submitted to the CSB Admissions Office on the 30th when I finally decided on going to that school.

Twist of events? :D
---

Happy 2nd Anniversary!

----

     Just to add something up though kinda OT, I failed to secure an application for the FOP this summer. Grrr...why can't SAO place their ads as early as January! I only got to know about this a couple of weeks ago when they started putting ads on SDA.

     By next summer, I may no have the chance to do FOP'ing if I am to have my OJT as stated in my flowchart!

Si Zack, Mahilig Manggulat!

        Daming nangyari nung nakaraang Sabado. Una siyempre ang penultimate week namin sa Baseco for NSTPCWS, sumunod iyung three-hour outdoor pictorial ko sa may Liwasang Bonifacio para sa found still life at portrait, at finals portfolio ko. Tapos ang sumunod naman ang muling pagkikita ko at ng kaibigang matagal ko nang hindi nakikita sa loob ng matagal na panahon.

       Nagpapahinga ako sa may hagdanan sa loob ng Central Terminal LRT station habang naghihintay ng masasakyang tren. Bigla may sumigaw sa pangalan ko, "JAMES!". Tuminigin ako sa itaas, iyun pala si Zack iyung tumawag sa'kin!

      Si Zack o kilala rin sa tunay niyang pangalan na "Manuel Zack Dela Cruz" ay natagpuan ko sa Central kasama ang kasintahang si Leah. Hindi ako makapaniwala na kinukuwento palagi niu Zack sa kanya ang mga kuwento tungkol sa akin noong bata pa kami nina Zack at magkaklase pa noong pre-school days namin sa Montessori.

        Tinanong ko siya kung saan na siya nag-aaral pero sabi niya, naghahanap pa daw siya ng eskuwelang mapapasukan niya. Dati siyang UST pero lumipat sa UE pero may nangyari kaya in limbo pa ang status niya bilang estudyante.

     Habang nakasakay kami sa tren, wala kaming gianwang dalawa kungdi mag-usap tungkol sa mga kasamahan namin sa Montessori, ang kung ano na ang nangyari sa kanila. Grabeh, parang kailan lang talaga, naglalaro kami at ng mga kaklase namin ng mga palarong pambata.

       Ako iyung iyakin ng Montessori at siya iyung batang mukhang bingi ang ngipin. Si Nathaniel iyung tumae sa upuan, si Angelique naman iyung ka-duet minsan ni Michael. Si Cheenee kabrakada niya palagi si Aimee habang tinatawag ko palagi sa buo niyang pangalan si Mark as in "Mark Allan Paul". Si Paula iyung palaging pinag-iinitan kasi kadudaduda ang mga pinapasa niyang projects habang si Ibbar iyung recurring bully sa grade school life ko.

   Ang dami mga tao na nais ko na rin makita muli. Sa ngayon sina Carlos, Mark, Gerard, Michael, Angelique Ashley, Senelita, Mangga, Zack, Cheche a.k.a. April Joyce, Janine Allison Lleses, Janine Herrera ang mga nakita ko na nang personal habang sina Lucky, L.A., Jamelle, Kenneth at Kenji ang nakita ko uli via YM at Friendster.

            Sana talaga matuloy na rin ang di matuloy-tuloy na reunion naming mga Montessorian.

Unsent Letter

      While cleaning up some things found on my drawer, I chanced upon finding an old Harry Potter-branded envelope with a sticker-picture of me used as a closing for its lid. The letter, in fact, was an old letter I wrote for a friend of mine who lives overseas a few years ago. However, it was left unsent after failing to do so (despite having known that I could have my mom sent it for me in the post office near hers). Instead it was left hidden among my other unused things tucked away inside that decade-old plastic drawer of mine.

     We lost communication after a rudely abrupt overseas call back in 2003 and a silently lost connection through Facebook early a year ago.

   I may have found him in some other web domain but everything's still not crystal clear as of now.

I rather not read this letter because I guess I said what I wanna say to him that time and reading it myself may lose the reason why I wrote a letter to him in the first place.

    That time, I was still feeling a little bit homesick. I've had in the past sent letters to my friends abroad (back in the time, most of them don't have their own email addresses while MySpace and Facebook are yet to become a global phenomena). I've sent him at least one letter, but after the abrupt phone call (because I ran out of load), I immediately wrote a letter to him apologizing for what happened (basically that's what was written in the leter anyway so I didn't bother reading it now).

     We had this firm friendship, because maybe of us being the only Asians in class who also happens to be neighbors next door, it gave us a sense of belonging amidst the differences in our personalities. He's a warfreak, i'm a pacifist; he's loves soccer, I was about to love soccer; He likes white shirts, I like green shirts. In addition, he pretty much reminds me of an old friend of mine who happens to be half-Japanese, half-Filipino. Thus the reason I managed to get along with his rough kind of attitude.

    Nowadays, I could still see the very same of personality he posseses to a certain some one I know, not just in physical appearance, but also in his "maangas" kind of traits.

Montessorian≤Thomasian≥Jamer (It's A Small World After All)

Hehehe, nakakatuwa ito...

Kagabi, nagYM sakin si Ellemaj. She asked me if I know a certain 'Kat Rigodon' and I said "yes". No, make that "Si 'Payat'? Oo!".

That could only mean that Jamelle Santos (Ellemaj's real name), who also happens to be an USTe girl, is classmates with Payat! Hehehe! Then again, Jamelle's not the only Montessorian in UST. There's Michael, Cheenee and her kuya, Raphael and at the same time, a lot of Jamers like Katrina who are attending in this royal and pontifical university. It cannot be help if destiny brings these two groups together, konektado sa kanilang pagkakilanlan sa akin.

Next thing I know, I'm making friends from the people of Notre Dame....Oh, wait! I did! I have friends from Notre Dame who knows Felipe and Kenneth! :P

James@18

Start:	Aug 31, '08
Location:	Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish, Maysilo, Malabon

One day, 24 solid hours, a nonstop fanfest of nothing but the James of the past and not-so-distant past.

Singkits from Nursery to College, Same face same attitude different people

    Napapansin ko noon nung nag-Grade 5 ako eh parang may kababalaghang nagyayari. Kasi nagkakaroon ako ng classmate na, bukod sa singkit ang mata, magkapareho pa nang pag-uugali at may pagkamayabang ang dating with some angas on top.

From Nursery to Grade 4:
 1. Leo Angelo "Lucky" Yamauchi
    -classmate ko nung nag-aaral pa ako sa Montessori sa Valenzuela.Half-Japanese at half Pinoy siya kaya halata ang east asian features niya sa mukha. We never met his dad pero mom niya mabait. Last time I saw him, we were two belts apart sa karate. He at that time got raised to  Green while I was raised to Purple whcih is a few degrees behind him. Last time I heard, nag=aral sa Saint Jude sa Malinta at classmate nina Margarita't jamelle. Ka-friendster ko na rin siya kaya malaking gulat na lang iyung naging itsura ngayon pagtanda. hehehe. Best time ay nung sinuntok niya ang tiyan konang walang dahilan nung Grade 4. Member siya nang mga astig na guys sa school at magaling sumayaw nang Bye Bye Bye.

Grade 5
1. Jonathan "Jon" Choi
    -Korean-American. American-born Korean pero laking Hong Kong. Akala ko nung una Chinese sila kasi taga-Hong kong siya pero through our moms conversation did I learned that he is, in fact, a Korean. certified blackbelter sa Taekwondo, at very fluent sa Korean (doy!). Magaling maglaro ng soccer. Mainitin ang ulo when provoked. Since that time, we're the only Asians in the neighborhood, we turned out to be good friends. Every Tuesdays and  thursday, we would always come to his house to do our homework then later watch DBZ then play with his Game Cube (the in thing of 2001). I definitely like his mom as well as his lolo was actually a (drumroll please) a Korean War vet. His lolo likes jazz whcih was my thang then (nung 2001, mahilig akong makinig nang mga escapist na music kasi nakakasawa ang mga naririnig ko sa MTV). Last time I heard nasa Korea International School siya sa South Korea, probably nasa 3rd year high school. Last known contact was 2004 na may bitin na IDD call.

High School
1.Angelo "Onang" Francisco -A guy with a personality mixed-up of Jon's and Lucky's. He's maangas like Lucky na may pagkayabang kagaya ni Jon. Wala naman siyang interes sa martial arts sa palagay ko. Magaling gumuhit. Inevitably the "Artist of the Year" nang batch namin. People like to identify him with anything Japanese. Actually, ang distinct lang talaga sa kanya eh mukha siya talagang nakakatakot. Nung 4th year, naging CAT team leader siya (right o officer?). naging classmate siya ng pinsan ko sa Thomas. He's in college studying somewhere in Manila. Last seen in Ellaine's daughter's baptism as one of the ninongs.

College
    Di pasado sa specifications ko iyungmga classmate ko na singkit kasi dapat may pagka-yabang, scary, at angas ang personality. Although may nakita akong taong maari kong maisama dito kaso di kami masyadong magkakilala nang lubos pero sinasabi ko pa lang sa'yo: para siyang si Lucky na Onang ang sugnit nang mukha at may kayabangan na kagaya ng kay Jon.