Senpai Bad

[This entry touches on the topic of smoking. Baka may matamaan ako kaya habang dito pa lang, huwag niyo na ito basahin. Salamat!]








     I always thought senpais as those who are proven to be good role models to people younger than him. Being a role model means encouraging others to emulate the good examples he or she has shown to them. It's the same way on how I look up to my mentor who ahve taught me everything despite being under his wing for only a year.

       Even if he's a little strict, I look up to him as my idol. I admire his continued perseverance on instilling discipline to his students in both mind and body. Even if training under him means loads of pain in our backs, limbs, legs, and foot, we know that it's for us to better improve on our stances, our forms, and our determination.

      But my perspective of him as a good role model changed when I saw, more than a year later. I saw him when I was on my way home from school. He was making tambay near the now-defunct Padi's Point in Caloocan, smoking.

        I know I should let people do things that they wanna do and there's nothing that I could do to stop them but, seeing him like that: depressed, lonely, troubled, and sloppy; he's not the energetic, youthful, happy-yet-serious guy I used to know and admire. It all disappeared the moment I saw him puffing out a smoke coming out from that cancer stick (no offense meant on those I might be hitting on).

           Walking towards him, I greeted him and asked on what's he's up to lately. He told me that other than just being an instructor, he also works as a call center agent for a company. He being a member of tech support is giving him a hard time balancing his other job, him being an instructor. He then threw the question back at me, asking what I've been up to. I told him, I failed to get into varsity and thus discontinued my goal on doing so in order to focus more on my studies which is increasingly eating up a lot of my time.

     Afterwards, he said I should strive further and hopefully something good will come out of it. Not soon after, I bade him goodbye and went on my way, leaving him there and puffing smoke from that potentially-fatal cigarette.

       I gave what happened some thought. I should cut him some slack, knowing that he's not a perfect person. He also have his own set of problems that in order to cope with them is to lit up a smoke, possibly one of his means to cope with all the stress coming from him. But then again, what he's doing is a total contradiction on the lessons he tries to instill unto me and his students, discipline to both mind and body, even he's an assistant instructor.

Wishing the best for him though.

I sure do miss taekwondo so much. Maybe I should pay them a visit one of these days!