But despite the odds, I have this strange feeling of calm and enjoyment. Careless if I made a wrongful mistake (as if there mistakes that are right) nor did have I not observed closely on making proper strokes and all, I felt at ease with myself when doing what I do most, drawing.
More than just drawing plates, I discovered that I'm also calmer when I'm painting, mixing colors from poster paints R, B, and Y to make YO-O-RO-R-RV-V-BV-B-GB-G-YB. Maybe because I underestimated myself to much.
Maybe...maybe I never quite understood on what I really CAN do. I dwell too much on what I canot do that I failed to see the extent of my true abilities as given to me by God.
I'm still trying to look for my true calling as an individual, a human being, a person with a purpose in life. I know I won't get any instant answers by just asking myself these lame questions, but who knows, right?
The studying of design and the arts is as difficult as trying to know the difference between pi and pie but maybe what will make learning easier for many of us is to focus less on the "difficulty" part and put on the more appropriate "challenging" adjective to best describe this episode in life.
I may not have what others may have now, I may not possess the things that make some people glitter with their smiles, and I may not have the resources and means to even have such acquisitions in the short-term but what I do have as well as other people have is the satisfaction and recognition that we get from our endeavors and not just because we have the financial means to do it, but because we did it out of passion, love, and dedication.
Maybe someday I could create a painting out of a blank 18"x24" illustration board that I have now. Heheheh!
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